I wasn’t supposed to witness the opening of the gas chamber doors. What lay inside was sickening. Hundreds of mangled bodies lay onto of one-another in the shape of a pyramid. The bodies of young women and children lay on the bottom whilst men were situated on top. I assumed that as the gas filled the chamber, people fought to reach the ceiling. The chambers resembled public showers. The large rooms were tiled and shower heads were in-built in the ceiling. Auschwitz prisoners were ordered to remove their clothing and instructed to tie their shoes together and place them in a pile. Prisoners were under the impression that they were going to have a shower.

I noticed something today, something very interesting. Mengele claims that he performs his experiments under the name of science. I used to believe his lies. His facial expressions when dissecting children’s’ bodies is  of such curiosity. I once caught him smiling. I was always under the impression that he was crazy about science, however, the man is crazy about power. He is so caught up in his inhumane experiments that his behaviour disguists me. He is working on a new project; the creation of conjoined twins. He’s been toying with the idea for weeks now but he has finally put his plans into motion. For days now he has participated in the sorting of arrivals. Yesterday, he managed to obtain 14 pairs of Gypsy twins. He was in a delightful mood. Mengele introduced himself as Uncle Mengele to a pair of the twins and led them into his operation room. He instructed me to record his observations. He put the children to sleep and operated upon them without using anesthetic and attempted to attach the children at the spines. Their wounds were raw and today they have begun to fester. Mengele’s experiement has failed and is killing them this afternoon. My job is to transport them to his private laboratory next to the Auschwitz gas chambers.

I accompanied Mengele to the railhead today. It was déjà vu, standing there amongst all of the Jewish prisoners. I felt sickened as I watched children cry as their families were separated. The sight brought tears to my eyes. Mengele stated that I needed to learn to differentiate between the ‘weak’ and the ‘strong’. At one stage during the day, a woman bit and scrateched an SS Guard who attempted to separate herself from her thirteen year old daughter. Mengele drew a gun and shot both the woman and child. He then ordered all of the people who had been selected to work who were from the woman’s carriage to the gas chambers, yelling, “Away with this sh*t”. Prisoners referred to Mengele as, ‘The Angel of Death and it was at that precise moment that I understood why it was an appropriate nick-name. He stood at the front of the cword with his arms outstretched, wearing his long, white laboratory coat, signaling to the left or the right line as Jewish people approached.

When I entered Mengele’s laboratory in the morning, the bodies of the thirteen other twins were had been laid, flat on his polished, marble dissection table and put them to sleep. He then proceeded to inject chlororform into their hearts, killing them instantly. Mengele began dissecting their bodies, noting his discoveries in a large, brown file. He reminded me of one of the German butchers in my home-town for he attacks human bodies with clevers. He perceives them as pieces of meat.

Mengele exited his laboratory early today and instructed me to lock the doors to his precious institute. He had left his large, brown notebeook on the metal bench, alongside a able of medical implements. I opened the front cover and was shocked by my discovery. Pages were filled with his illegible hand-writing alongside detailed images. The pictures reminded me of all the experiments that he had conducted on patients, both physical and psychological. I will list them:

·        experiments performed on patients without using anesthetic

·        transfusions of blood from one twin to another

·        isolation endurance

·        reactions to various stimuli

·        injections with lethal germs

·        sex change operations

·        removal of vital organs and limbs

·        incestuous impregnations

·        injections of chemicals into the eye in attempts to change eye colour

·        alternative sterilization methods

Mengele had once stated that his patients were calmer and more cooperative when he fed them sweets, lollies, offered them clothes and introduced himself as Uncle Mengele. The children perceived him as a father figure since most of the Jewish prisoners lost all of their relations on arrival at Auschwitz. Older twins are not tricked by his kind façade and recognise it as deception. A twin spoke with me before he was about to enter Mengele’s laboratory. He queried me about his brother. His voice rings loud in my ears. 

“Dr. Mengele has always been more interested in Tibi. I am not sure why-perhaps it is because he is the older twin. Mengele made several operations on Tibi. One surgery on his spine left my brother paralysed. He could not walk anymore. They took out his sexual organs. After the fourth operation, I did not see Tibi again,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I can’t tell you how I feel. It is impossible to words into how I feel. They have taken away my mother, my father, my two older brothers- and now my twin.”

I’m changing, I can tell. It’s this place, this living nightmare that’s driving me insane. In my dreams, I hear the shrieks and yelps of pain that escape the mouths of innocent children. I witness the doors of the gas chambers opening, the bony bodies of starving prisoners, despondent facial expressions and the sight of mangled bodies everywhere. I’m having trouble differentiating between reality and my imagination anymore.